A Working Mom's blog...this "Gleek" impressed by courageous topic of suicide on the show

How young do you start talking about suicide with a child? When do you begin that conversation without scaring them? I’m saddened by the news stories I read, but I know what to expect when I see the headline. Recently, I was quite stunned when suicide came up on one of our favorite shows.

On many Tuesdays, we’ve let our daughters stay up to watch Glee – it’s become a ‘family night’ kind of tradition. We love the song and dance numbers, so it’s been really fun to snuggle the four of us on the couch together. Occasionally, we have to send our young daughters on to bed when the content gets too mature.

But, typically we’ve been okay with the girls seeing the ins/outs of friendship, teachers, and the topics they often cover on the show including homosexuality. We’ve been able to make light of it as the show has done on many occasions – you can’t predict who you’ll fall in love with. So, I’m a total ‘Gleek’ and look forward to the show and our family night singing by the television. We especially love the all-out tributes like the Madonna episode, Lady Gaga, Britney, and Michael Jackson (okay, so we’re also guilty of dancing in front of the boob tube during those!).

Part of the charm of Glee is the cast of characters – the strong females, the group dynamics, the “macho” male, the typical popular kids – and the courageous Kurt, an out-of-the-closet guy who now can openly express his adoration for his equally charming boyfriend, Blaine, one of the best performers on the show.

Recently*, audiences were shocked (well, we were!) when the football guy David [who used to verbally torture Kurt and now is trying to come to terms with his own sexuality] attempted suicide. When my husband and I could see the story turning that way, we scurried our girls off to bed.

We were struck by the reactions and how much the show covered in just the 60-minute episode - everything from a comment of ‘that’s selfish to hurt yourself and everyone around you’ – to conversations about the kinds of struggles that push you to ‘that edge’ – to determining how to pray for their friend who survived and how to make a tribute in his honor with what they know best for expressing themselves, their performances. Facing what happened with David forced the group to reflect on themselves and it gave the teacher an opportunity to have them think about their futures and actually say out loud their wishes they want to be around to realize.

Does it take more bravery to admit that you overcame such feelings – or – would you be perceived as stronger if you said you never contemplated suicide? As I watched the group, I wondered about my own friends, my brothers, my co-workers. Which of them would be surprised to know that I overcame such emotions as an adolescent and an adult?...the amount of courage it takes to ride that roller coaster of wild emotions and wonder who’s at the other end to hold your hand and know that it’s worth finishing the ride.

That same week, the local newspaper ran a Letter to the Editor from the gifted Dr. Bernie Siegel^ where he stated 70% of high school students have contemplated suicide [that certainly sounds like it goes along with this episode of Glee and what it was implying].

In sharing his own experience, Dr. Siegel was essentially urging parents and teachers to be preventative rather than reactive about suicide conversations and attempts – promote activities that urge kids to focus on what makes them feel loved and the activities they love to do. He touched upon the eye-opening results of such efforts and the ways it then becomes evident what needs to be addressed “teaching how to eliminate what is killing them and not to kill themselves.”

So, I’m brought back to my thoughts – when do you start trying an activity like that? We tell our girls all the time how much we love them, we write notes and cards; we show them affection. But they’re also typical kids who have tantrums from time to time and occasionally vent about what they “hate” about their lives, even as young as they are. They wouldn’t grasp the term ‘suicide’ but what might they understand about that ‘edge’ feeling?

As a parent seeing a show like the episode of Glee and reading a letter such as Dr. Siegel’s, it’s hard not to reflect on your own experiences and wonder about your kids’ futures and their friends. Oddly enough, for a show that usually makes us laugh, sing and dance – it was so much more than thought-provoking that night. Total Gleek!

*Glee episode “On My Way” 2/21/12

^Feeling loved counteracts suicide, New Haven Register 2/20/12, pA8